Making a decision is often one of the hardest things to do. As a twenty-something woman the list of decisions seems to be endless doesn’t it? It can start from something simple such as, ‘what am I going to cook for dinner that’s actually healthy?’ to ‘am I with the right guy?’ to ‘is my life where I want it to be?’. As a twenty-something woman myself I can certainly relate to having to make decisions and as each year passes by, these decisions seem to be getting more and more difficult to make. In the words of a very wise man- or woman- the struggle is real. The thing that I have been thinking about a lot lately is, how do you know if you are making the right decision? More to the point, is there really a wrong or a right choice? Is your life already mapped out by some external force or, does every single decision we make impact on which direction we take in life? Talk about a deep conversation for an otherwise normal Tuesday afternoon.
You often hear people say, ‘what does your gut tell you?’ and ‘does it sit right?’. Two very strange metaphors but two things society has taught us to contemplate when dealing with decisions. We are taught to believe that if it feels right, do it. Am I the only one who finds themselves usually torn over what to do? And the thought of making a mistake is forever daunting. As humans I think we want our cake and eat it two. By that, I mean we want to dip our feet in the water to test it out before committing to anything and leaving what we already have behind. I know I definitely do. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, moving cities, friendships, day-to-day choices, the fear of things going wrong and losing something we already have is always in the back of our minds. The ‘what if’ starts to kick in and you automatically question and think about all of the things that may or may not go wrong with the decision you make. This is obviously a natural response and self-doubt is pretty much a subconscious thought for anybody.
So, logically you could question what would happen if when coming to make a decision you took fear out of the equation. Would it make decision making a hell of a lot easier? I don’t know about you, but I have found this to be pretty insightful. Conceptualizing one, or all of your fears for that matter and forcing yourself to remove them from both your mind and your life can be really therapeutic. For example if doing x meant that there were no problems with money, you weren’t afraid of being alone, you would make it succeed – it would be so much easier for you to make the decision. Instead of focusing on the negatives, you simply put your attention on all of the positive possibilities of the situation. Obviously you still need to be realistic but if you remove the majority of the irrational fears, you have a much clearer thought process and perhaps a more balanced one?
I myself always think, ‘what would Bridget Jones do?’. Why? Because I adore her. BUT, let’s be honest, she (much to my dismay) isn’t real. This idea of, ‘what would somebody else do’ is actually really enlightening though. For a few minutes you take yourself out of your own mind and comprehend a situation from a completely different point of view. After all, when in a confusing situation it’s really difficult to see outside of it and have a rational perspective.
Over the next six months I have some really important decisions to make and I have removed the fear from at least one of them for now and have also contemplated it from somebody else’s perspective and I have my answer. Finally. Granted, I have a few more to get through and to cross off the list but removing the fear from the decision making really helps you answer the ‘how do you know if you are making the right decision?’. The truth is, nobody is ever certain. Life is uncertain. BUT not being scared and doing something that will ultimately make you happy is a much better way to live. So when in doubt, don’t switch to self-doubt.
I’m wearing: | Floral blazer: Topshop | Black denim skirt: Topshop | Maggie suede ankle boots (similar) : Topshop | Sunglasses: Topshop | Bag: Mango | Tee: You Can Just Tell |