It isn’t often that I share my feelings with people outside my tiny circle of best friends and family. When I first started blogging I in fact didn’t really open up or share anything with my readership. It wasn’t until really the last six months I’ve gained the awareness that as a blogger, I’m inviting everybody into my life and I should be prepared to share the significant things and the every day happenings. This is actually an amazing thing as my blog is a platform for me be able to discuss anything and everything – from clothing to men to why you should never wear Bridget Jones pants to why being yourself at twenty four is so important.
As a twenty-something having that fear of failure is a very normal feeling and one I have experienced many, many times. When you put your heart and soul into something and aren’t ‘reeping the rewards’ you can’t help but question’ why?! Why aren’t people liking my content, why aren’t I getting lots of likes, why haven’t I had any brand interest recently? You want to jump around the room and pull your hair out. I think the word ‘failure’ has came out of all of our mouths at one point or another and it’s one of those words that automatically makes you feel on the edge of tears – no it isn’t just hormones or ‘that time of the month’. This feeling is however, a very valid feeling and like I said previously, one that isn’t alien to other people. Being a blogger requires an endless amount of patience and when I first signed up I don’t think I really got the memo. You are essentially building up everything from scratch and your entire content relies on the followers and readership you yourself have had to gain. I don’t know about others, but waking up to new followers I have had overnight genuinely makes me smile. Followers aren’t just numbers whatsoever, they are people who actually have an interest in your life and what you choose to publish.
Interaction is something again I have realised the importance of. Every time I get a comment from somebody I find it so rewarding and so real. The fact people have gone out of their way to either offer an opinion or say something really positive is one thing that always makes me think, ‘this is why I love doing what I do’. It makes all of the bad days, frustrations, down moments worth it and I can’t even help myself to hit the comment button almost immediately. As a woman, pointing out your flaws is a very natural thing. When publishing a photograph I ALWAYS point out something that I’m not completely happy with or something I wish could look better. Being hard on myself is something I’m very familiar with and I’m one of those people that want to hear something even though I don’t want to hear it – if that makes sense? Case in point, when you have people giving up-lifting comments and focusing on all of the good things about your content it’s incredibly reassuring and equally very refreshing.
I think I’m the last few months I have learnt more about myself than I ever have before and needing to be more positive is something I admittedly need to work on. I would LOVE to be one of those people that are naturally smiley and happy all of the time. A glass half full kinda’ gal’. But if I’m brutally honest, I’m just really not. Positivity is so hard to practice especially when you can’t see out of your own situation. Instead of the content that hasn’t been received amazingly, I have forced myself (granted I am still learning) to focus on the content that people have really loved and this is actually really rewarding. Whether it’s career, men, friendships, money, health – we all have our weaknesses and anxieties and it’s only human to be worried about something and to continually strive and want for more. I know by having spoken to other blogger they feel and experience very similar feelings to me about wanting to be better and struggling with the pressure that comes along with social media. It’s made me realise that friendships within the blogging world is actually so important as well, because these girls can 100% relate to how you feel and just being able to encourage and help each other is so important as well. People that think and actually say that no bloggers want to help each other (as we are essentially in competition with one another) I believe is absolute bullshit. I personally have had so much help from one of my blogging friends and the majority of comments and feedback I get on all of my photographs are from other bloggers- all of which are positive. Just because we are all after success within the same industry doesn’t make us feel or think any differently- in my opinion. Giving each other advise is one of the most rewarding things and in the last six months I have really homed in on the fact that I want to build on these friendships and really get to know other bloggers.
Having feelings can sometimes make you want to wish that you didn’t, but at the end of the day feelings fuel success because it shows that you simply care. I used to moan to Dan and everybody I could that I wish I didn’t care so much, well this was probably a very foolish comment as having cared ‘so’ much has helped me gain a place in the blogging industry and build my readership in the first place – and bad days or good days, I wouldn’t change it for the world.